I will get so skinny...they will regret calling me fat
Height: 5'7
Age: 17
HW: 165
SW: 160
CW: 158
GW: 150 - reward: bandeau bikini
GW1: 145 - reward: helix pierced
UGW1: 135
UGW3: 130 - reward: spirit jersey
ULTIMATE: 120 - PURE FREAKING JOY
PLEASE MOTIVATE ME!!!!!!!!!
Everytime someone writes GO! in my ASK, I will do 15 crunches and 2 - 30second planks.
ASK AWAY!!!! KEEP ME MOTIVATED
I FELL BEHIND BECAUSE OF COLLEGE BUT NO MORE EXCUSES. I am back on track and my life will be in my control. I need to hit that ultimate weight to be happy with myself, at all costs. I don't care, I am on my own and I will get what I want.
The ED Directory
I doubt anyone is going to even read this but I just wanted to share my story with every other girl struggling out there.
I struggle and battle with my eating disorder. I have always had issues with my weight, never been the fat girl but never being the skinny one either. I remember being in the 3rd grade wearing my favorite pink tank top and this boy turned to me and says “You look SOO fat in that shirt.” I think that is where it all began, the questioning, the judging, the realization.
Fast forward to high school. I never fully developed my bulimia till the end of senior year but I was always so self conscious. I had a great group of girl friends, all of which were skinny, and I knew that I was the quota big girl. Some can describe me as curvy, or normal but I don’t want to be normal. I want to be skinny and beautiful. I would give anything to lose the weight and just have that perfect body. So many times I had heard guys saying I had “so much potential” but I knew my weight was holding me back from that. Towards the send of senior year I started purging.
Now I am a freshman at college and I battle everyday with what I eat, binging/starving and purging. I truly just want to hit my goal weight. The moment where I think I started to sink into the worst habits of my ED was when my friend Stacy said these exact words to me: “I would say your body is average, you have a very average body”. I refuse to be anything but average and I will stop at nothing to achieve it. I know when I am skinny I will have so much more confidence in myself.
Just once I want to be proud of my body.
I always thought I was to smart to fall into this but it grows into an obsession, a true disease, a true addiction. I need to hit my goal weight, I want to hit the goal weight. I will be so happy when I hit it…and I will do anything to get there.
I wear a smile because I have become a master of false confidence.
